Last night, (or rather some of yesterday), I was feeling different. I don't know how to explain it but I just felt like I was a robot, doing the things one does in a day. I just felt like I was in a fog. After coming home from bible study, and evaluating why I was feeling that way, I went strait to my room and just started to read the Word. Reading this usually helps me to get back "in tune" if you want to call it that. It just helps me to praise God, and put myself in perspective.
So any way, before I read my Bible, I prayed fervently that God would just speak through his Word. That he would show me what he wanted me to know..... who and what he is. So he showed me this:
"...My eyes grew weak as I looked to the heavens. I am troubled; O Lord, come to my aid! But what can I say? He has spoken to me, and he himself as done this. I will walk humbly all my years because of this anguish of my soul . Lord by such things men live ; and my spirit finds life in them too. You restored me to health and let me live. Surely it was for my benefit that I suffered such anguish. In your love you kept me from the pit of destruction; you have put all my sins behind your back. For the grave cannot praise you, death cannot sing your praise; those who go down to the pit cannot hope for your faithfulness. The living , the living - they praise you , as I am doing today; fathers tell their children about your faithfulness. The Lord will save me, and we will sing with stringed instruments all the days of our lives in the temple of the Lord." Isaiah 38: 14-20
This verse just helped me so much. I just love Isaiah. Every time I have read from this book, I have found healing. I love how it says that the fathers tell their children about the Lord. That's so cool. I mean The faithfulness is something that people want to share. Once it is in their lives they have to share it.
I feel like God was so faithful to me with this verse. You see, I feel like I might be in what some call a spiritual valley. This is what the Father wanted me to know. He wanted me to see that this anguish and suffering is for my benefit. That this is just going to refine me. I am so glad that I have Jesus...because I would rather be in the fire with him than without him. And I know that when I get out of the fire, I will be better fit for his service. That is my desire, I just want to serve him. If it means all I have to do is struggle temporarily, than so be it, because I deserve much worse. You see how faithful he is! He just is bombarding me with gifts and refining tools.
Jesus is cleaning out the garbage. All the sinful stuff in my heart is being cleaned out. It is a hard process. The devil loves garbage.I don't...it stinks, and it doesn't look to pretty. Especially in my heart. So praise the Lord that he is so faithful to remove it. He even sustains me through and through. I am not alone.