Sitting here on this chilly afternoon, my thoughts wander to far off places. They travel up and down, around and far. I follow their paths in the swirls on mypiping hot latte. My mind is full of inspiration, quirky thoughts, and quiet ponderings. The smell of strong roasted espresso floats on the air.
Suddenly a small thought enters my head. Ever so slightly, it pushes it's way into the highway of all my ponderings and halts all lighthearted contemplations right in their tracks.
It's self pity.
That devious thought that turns my efforts inwards, and focuses my heart towards itself. It is the deliberation that has brought great men and women of the faith down, and caused evangelists to question the reason they fight.
Today I pity my singleness.
I watch the couples around me. They share a quick giggle, and then look into each other's eyes. One young beau holds his beauty's hand, and buys her the sweet drink she has ordered. I'm remorseful. I begin to feel hopeless, as if I can't see the point in all this waiting.
I pity not having a hand to hold. I pity not having someone to share those special inside jokes with. I pity being alone to dance. I pity myself growing up to be an old maid. Growing old without that special person.
My mind races, and I feel confused, and impatient.
Then like a flitting bird, the thoughts are gone. Instead of holding the big hand of a gentleman, I'm holding the hand of my God. The hand that will lead me through life in peace.
Instead of walking down an old road with my sweetheart, I'm being led on the path of life by the best leader of all. Instead of dancing with a strapping young man, I'm dancing with my true Prince.
I twirl and twist in his strong arms, and I know that where ever He leads, I will be safe to follow.
I'm filled with a peace again, and a reassurance of the One I love so much. My heart swells with the anticipation of what He has, and I regret doubting his plan.
I find my peace in the promises He has written in His ultimate Love Letter. Verses come swarming to my head of waiting on the Lord, and finding strength in trials.
And I am comforted.
Then I look down at my steaming latte, and I'm brought back to the drizzly coffee shop and the buzz of noise around me. Soft jazz plays in the background and I am grinning as I look down to the swirls of my coffee. My thoughts echo back to inspiration and whimsy, and I revel in the simple joy of my Saviour.
So that is that.