fragrance of his knowledge

A few things from the last few months.

Because I'm discovering more and more that I need to write to process - its how I unwind.  

I often find myself coming back here to recount blessing on blessing on blessing...grace on grace. 

It keeps me thankful and humble and confident in the One who has held me and continues to do so. 

I don't want to forget. 

This is all more for personal benefit than anything - I'm pretty sure no one reads this ol' blog anymore. So, if you happen to find yourself here, consider yourself warned...to the grammar mistakes and all. 

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- I finish my undergraduate college career in about 2 1/2 months. 

You know that feeling you get when you run down a hill and your heart is flying because you're right on the edge of going too fast for your legs to keep up but you can't really stop and you're so full of adrenaline and excitement you wouldn't want to even if you could?

That's how I feel this semester. 

Holy wow. 

- I had hip surgery over my winter break...easily one of the most terrifying but most amazing experiences of my entire life. Even though I'm still recovering, I'm walking for the first time without pain or a limp in over 8 years - so much healing, so quickly. 

And I'm so thankful. 

I often catch myself still trying to limp - my body wants to compensate for a pain that's no longer there. 

Funny how we do that, isn't it? In life as well as with hip surgery.  

How quickly we forget our new names...whose we really are. 

We're so quick to return to our previous ways of thinking and living and striving.

Freedom is a beautiful, growing thing. 

But we are free...free, indeed. And we must learn to walk that way. 

- Hippeas Vegan Cheese Puffs. 

I've eaten an entire Costco bag this week. 

Halp. 

- This morning in my business improv class we talked about what a trend apathy has become...how cool it is to seem like you don't care. 

It struck such a chord with me. 

It's such an arid environment, apathy...and so contagious. Nothing grows there. 

We walk around pretending not to care about things that really do matter to us and pretending to care about things that don't matter in the long run. I wonder what would happen if we were more expressive about things we cared about...if laughed, cried, and loved on the people around us more. 

What if we allowed our caring to make us messy sometimes...and what if we were all okay with it? There's definitely a balance to be had...but what if we let these cares and loves and passions guide our lives in ways that aren't always perfectly planned and manicured?

I think Jesus lived this way - full of messy love and passion and humility. 

And I think he wants us to as well. 

I know He gives us the Grace to. 

Just some thoughts.  

- I'm riding a fine line around grandma-hood.

I spend my evenings watching travel documentaries and I've caught myself distracted at least 5 times over the past 4 days, Googling how to renovate camper vans.

Almost time for an intervention? Probably. But I'm not complaining. 

- Japanese is kicking my tail this semester, which kinda makes me sad. 

Its true what they say - if you don't use it you'll lose it. 

I understand most Japanese - but its been so long since I've had a day of conversation with someone. And I feel like I'm trying to run again after being sedentary for months.

But God has a plan for this too.  

 Just gotta keep up the 頑張れ。

- Sometimes when I tell people I'm getting my Masters in Accounting, I kinda cringe. 

Its not the most interesting, must dynamic sounding degree in the world. And if I'm honest, sometimes I skirt around the label.  

I've never wanted to be an accountant -- and I don't think that's changing any time soon. 

I'm not sure what the future holds after I graduate from Grad school - if I'll work for a big firm or a small firm or a non-profit or just be at home with kids one day. Its all very unsure. 

But I'm really okay with it. 

 I know God has a plan for it all. 

He's in the business of making seemingly-borning things exciting. 

And how much can worrying add to my life? 

He's called me to today. He sustains me today.

And the King of Grace has it all perfectly timed for my benefit and His glory. 

A few weeks ago C said I should break the old blog out again...because how else would he know what I'm really thinking. 

Initially, I bucked what he was saying. I'm a grown-ask woman who can express myself in words...I don't need an obsolete blog or dreamy-sounding posts to convey my feelings. 

Wrong. 

He was right. 

I realized this place is more for me than for anyone or anything else.

And I was thankful he convinced me to type out some words again...even if they're imperfect and random and quite rambly.

I need to process this way...to remember in this way...to be grateful this way. 

So, until next time...

Always, 

G